"When I got home that night my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her
eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I
had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly,
why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She
threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied
her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of
my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had
spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for
I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what
I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and
clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found
her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to
sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not
care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice
before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to
live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his
exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something
more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our
wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her
out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going
crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. .
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she
applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the
divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I
realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her
hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her
life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her
as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She
tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had
grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s
time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had
become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded
my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our
wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the
last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had
gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked
intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs.
Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce
anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry,
Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each
other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to
suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into
tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write
on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death
do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a
smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My
wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even
notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the
divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money
in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot
give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do
those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to
you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of
life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success
when they gave up. ♥
Remember love is the richest of all treasures.
Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything. Love never
perishes , even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as
the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground
up, similarly the basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible and
therefore eternal. Beauty can be destroyed, but not love. ♥
